Oftentimes the most difficult relationship to navigate is the relationship we have with ourselves. This relationship feels particularly demanding because it is heavily influenced by our own self-perception. The constant influx of “standards” against which we measure and compare ourselves make it challenging to steadily perceive ourselves in a positive light. In the face of these challenges, a person with low self-esteem uses these comparisons as evidence proving his or her lack of worth.
The hollow feeling of low self-esteem can often drive us to seek outside validation to boost our self-esteem. Suddenly, we feel like our self-worth is tied to “successful” outcomes such as our appearance, job title or salary to name a few. When we succeed in these external endeavors, the boost is short-lived and when we fail, the crash lingers indefinitely. The crash may bring about any number of negative reactions such as feeling hopeless, helpless and sad.
When feelings of worth come from within, we feel more apt to weather the storm of what happens around us. In therapy, you can learn to build a stronger personal foundation from within and to feel more capable of managing life’s challenges. Therapy helps us understand why we may have negative feelings about who we are and to fortify that vital relationship we have with ourselves.